Mother’s Day – The Sad

by Heidi

I find myself with mixed emotions on Mother’s Day.  I’m so excited to celebrate my own mommyhood and to celebrate my own mom.  But, I feel sad for so many friends.  There are several for whom Mother’s Day is not so happy.  I just wanted to share these people with you partly to get it out of my head but also in case it might encourage you.

Those Who Have Lost Their Mom

One ache in my heart is for my friend who lost her mother to cancer a few years ago on Mother’s Day.  This time of year is still filled with hurt from no longer having her mom and also from the memories of watching cancer do what it does.  I pray one day she will be free from these memories and filled with all the reasons why she loved and cherished her mom.  But, even then, the pain will still be with her.

Those Who Want to Be Moms
 (married and those who wish to be married too)

According to the Center for Disease Control:

Number of women ages 15-44 with impaired ability to have children: 7.3 million (11.8%)
Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant for at least 12 consecutive months): 2.1 million (7.4%)

These stats lead me to more statistical questions for which I have not been able to find answers, but the point is a lot of people I know are facing fertility challenges.  From these stats, I’m going to estimate that at least 1 in 10 women of childbearing age are struggling (many sources indicate the number is actually closer to 1 in 6.)  So, sitting in church this morning, I estimate, 300 women were there.  Of those 300, I will very conservatively estimate that 100 are married and of childbearing age.  Therefore, in my place of worship, I can estimate there were at least 10 women suffering with this deep longing.  To make it worse, they suffer in silence.  Sometimes the silence is of their own making but also can be compounded by unaware friends and family.  I love this video and it may help others express what they feel and still others to know what others feel.

Those Who are Birth Moms

Did you know that Birthmother’s Day is the day before Mother’s Day?  I love this!  What a great opporunity for all of us to celebrate and commend the women who have made godly choices for their babies.  Every year Bethany has a celebration on Birthmother’s Day.  These women come to grieve together, learn together, and inspire each other.  This attitude and care for birthmoms is one reason we chose Bethany.  This video is not either of our children’s birthmom.  It’s not even the agency we used, but I know our children’s birthmoms have said many of these same things.  This woman is so raw, so broken, and so hopeful.  I trust you will treat her tenderly as you watch.

Birth Mom Testimony 

Those Who Want a Mom

There are a lot (one source said 129,000) of children currently available for ADOPTION in our nation’s state foster care system.  Wow.  And, how many children in other countries?  I don’t remember the stats.  So many different circumstances. 

But, for all, they long to be held by a mommy.   Their mommy.  A mommy to call their own.

You see, Mother’s Day is very happy.  But, it is also very sad.  Learning to live in the tension between seemingly opposite emotions is a lesson I’m still understanding.  So, for today, I’m happy and sad.  In a good kind of way.  You know?